Fitting In Versus Belonging: Embrace Your True Self
Have you ever felt torn between fitting in and truly belonging? The concept of “Fitting In Versus Belonging” recently caught my attention in a post by David Mead, and it perfectly captured a theme that has appeared in countless conversations I’ve had over the years.
I think of Cathy, a woman who went through a tough divorce. Afterward, she distracted herself with partying, wine, and cigarettes to numb the pain. Yet, when the divorce was final and it was time to build a new life, she decided to make some serious changes.
Fast forward to eight weeks later, Cathy was not only healthier and more energized, but she had also transformed her mind, values, and drive. But, this shift wasn’t without challenges. As Cathy embraced her new life, she realized her old friends weren’t able to accept the changes she’d made.
Fitting In: A Fake and Draining Experience
When you’re just trying to fit in, it often feels like you’re not being true to yourself. You hide parts of who you are, pretend to be something you’re not, or even keep quiet to maintain acceptance in a group. This constant act is draining and can leave you feeling disconnected.
As David Mead puts it, “Fitting in means changing parts of who we are so that we are perceived as acceptable, lovable, or popular within a group or tribe.” It’s exhausting. Instead of wasting energy on trying to fit into a group, why not focus on finding the group where you truly belong?
Belonging: The Freedom to Be Yourself
On the other hand, belonging is about being authentic. We all have a natural desire to feel connected to others who share our values. Belonging means you can be yourself without pretending or hiding. It’s not about conformity, it’s about mutual respect, understanding, and acceptance.
When we feel like we truly belong, it fills us up. Belonging nurtures trust and love, helping us feel at ease with who we are.
So, where do you feel a sense of belonging?
Navigating Life Transitions and Finding Your Path
Life transitions often make us feel like we’re in a “no man’s land.” During these times, it can be easy to feel lost, but trust the process. Keep your values in sight, embrace connections with like-minded individuals, and stay aligned with your true self.
Remember, “It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk with you, but no one can walk it for you.” – Rumi
You have the strength to find your way. If you’re in a crisis this Midlife Crisis or Midlife Transition? will help you to keep moving forward!
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