Midlife Crisis or Midlife Transition?

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Transition?

A midlife crisis can be sign posted with a loss of your confidence, feeling anxious and disappointed in the middle years, often questioning your purpose and direction. Did you know the best indicator of a midlife crisis is big lifestyle changes? Being discontent and looking for change. Often friends, family or co-workers will notice it before you do.

 

What is a Midlife Crisis?

A midlife crisis or transition is a time when you naturally change biologically and physically. It’s an active process of transformation using play, exploration and flexibility.

Did you know every 7 to 9 years we change who we are? Think of how you changed from birth to age 7, then 14, 21, 28, 35, 42, 49, 56….

Your most significant seven year cycles are adolescence & midlife. Adolescence you’re getting into society and there can be conflict about the release process of you entering into the world.

Whereas midlife is about being old enough to become your own person and the ending of reproductive years to free up energy for other things.  There’s no fixed age, rather a range often from 35-55. A Midlife Crisis can be induced by stress, death of a loved one, divorce, separation, job loss, family dramas, social circle, menopause or feeling inauthentic to who you really are.

During your midlife crisis you will have new found energy that’ll attract new friends and fuel your desire to explore life and find yourself once again.

 

11 Top Signs of Midlife Crisis

  1. Desire to run away to somewhere new.
  2. Feel like quitting a good job.
  3. Unexplained periods low mood or depression
  4. Feeling trapped in current family relationships or leaving the relationship, either physically or mentally
  5. Keep asking yourself, ‘where am I going in my life?’
  6. Feeling trapped or tied down by fiscal responsibilities.
  7. Desiring a simple life.
  8. Recent trauma or stress can trigger a Midlife crisis – Death of someone close, experiencing a health crisis, changing jobs or divorce
  9. Irritability or unexpected anger.
  10. Doing things out of character often, to mix it up a little.
  11. Sudden desire to get fit, healthy and look good.

 

Why do Midlife Crisis Happen?

A Midlife Crisis or Transition shakes things up and gets you back on track to where you really want to be in life. The more off track the bigger the transition.

In midlife transformation you are becoming two people at the one time. There’s your –

  • Mature self – dealing with job, family responsibilities
  • Younger self (8 year old essence) – exploring life, playing and growing.

Midlife is about merging your younger spirit, full of dreams and desires with your older responsible self. A midlife readjustment can be needed if you’ve got off track.

There’ll be times when you switch between your younger and older self. Your younger self often doesn’t have the words to explain what you’re doing and can often be overwhelmed by responsibility. This can be hard for people around you to accept.

Ideally, allow time for the two parts of you to integrate so you can find peace, joy and contentment moving forward.

Play, movement, experiences and flexibility are essential to test, rebalance your body and integrate emotional and spiritual changes.

This time can made painful by viewing it as a midlife crisis. Better to view as a midlife transition, acknowledging and owning your feelings and processing them bit by bit, allowing you to make a transition in steps, realigning as you go.

 

How to Make your Midlife Crisis a Midlife Transition  –

  • Graceful awareness, acknowledging and owning your feelings. Repressing and denying your feelings and emotions until you blow like a volcano, with lots of collateral damage is not a good idea.
  • Take moderate steps. Small mistakes are easier to recover from than big ones.
  • Remember the lessons are in the doing. Start somewhere, you learn by making mistakes and autocorrecting to find your way.
  • Running away isn’t your answer, rather reducing pressure bit by bit to allow the space for you to grow into a new person
  • Ideally, release in staged amounts interspersed with holding on to keep you more stable long term.
  • Embrace exercise and movement (yoga, swimming, dance, belly dancing, gym, paddle board..) as an essential part of re-integrating your life.
  • Express yourself through journal writing, art or being creative to allow you to discover new words and expand beyond your boundaries.
  • Be selective about who and how you talk about the change going on inside to others. It can scare them, elicit judgment and resistance, which can feel like they’re holding you back.
  • Release self-judgment, so you have more options to change. Beginning to change creates less conflict internally.
  • Foster opinions rather than judgments. Opinions can be changed, judgments can’t.

 

How long will Midlife Crisis Last?

Often 3 to 5 years, as you work through incongruencies in your life. There will be highs and lows, false starts and tangents before the dust settles. Roughly 30% will be disappointed with the outcome. 25% of these will often repeat the crisis roughly 7 years later, without help.

Getting help and guidance can mean resolving a midlife transition in less than 2 years with a great outcome and less traps and tangents.

Words of wisdom – release, go slow – learn, grow and thrive.

Happy transitioning!

Simple Lentil Salad

Simple Lentil Salad

simple lentil-Salad

Great way to add protein into your diet if you are practicing ‘Meatless Monday’ or are vegetarian. Or just want a salad with a bit more body to it. Feel free to tweek it by adding more colourful vegetables – tomatoes, carrot or even a boiled egg. You could pre-cook the lentils the day before to make it even easier to throw together.

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Lamb Harira

Lamb Harira

 lamb harira naturopath mornington peninsula
This is great for a nourishing and filling meal as the cooler nights set in. I love the Middle Eastern flavours. And is great to double the quantity and serve at a dinner party. Your guests will love it! Remember to start the day before. Easy to make but just need to allow for extended cooking times.

Serves 6

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  • 4 lamb shanks or chicken drumsticks or eliminate all together
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 stalks celery, chopped
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • Big pinch saffron
  • 2 cups chopped tomatoes
  • 2 cups chopped zucchini
  • 2 cups chopped pumpkin
  • 4 cups chopped silverbeet or kale
  • 2 cups chopped sweet potato
  • 2 litres water or any stock
  • 1 cup buckwheat, soaked overnight in filtered water and drained (optional).
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
  • 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
  • 1/2 cup chopped parsley mint, chopped (optional)

 

Method:

1. Soak buckwheat overnight in water. Drain next day.

2. Melt oil in saucepan over medium heat. Add meat and brown on all sides. Set aside.

3. Saute onion and celery in pan until translucent, about 4-5 minutes.

4. Add garlic and spices, saute for 2 minutes. Stir in tomatoes and cook for 3-4 minutes.

5. Pour in water and stock and return meat to the pan. Bring to boil and reduce to medium low heat and simmer for 2 hours, or until meat is falling off the bone. Remove the shanks or drumsticks and allow to cool.

6. Once cool enough shred the meat off bone & add to soup. Discard bones.

7. Add buckwheat, sweet potato, pumpkin, zucchini, silverbeet or kale and cook for 25-30 minutes or until vegetables are tender.

8. Adjust seasoning, stir in coriander, parsley and mint. Serve with lemon wedges or squeeze into soup on serving.

9. Enjoy.

Tip: 2-3 whisked eggs stirred into the soup at the end can make is even more delicious.

Sourced from Pete Evans Healthy Every Day.