Emma’s opening line as she plopped down was, “I need your help I’m feeling stuck, overwhelmed and depressed and I’m done with feeling this way. I’m on my third different antidepressant and I’m not feeling any better, I’m feeling worse.”
I’d heard this comment expressed in many ways over the years. As a pharmacist I’d dispensed endless boxes of antidepressants and very few of the patients had experienced a miraculous surge of happiness.
Emma sat across from me slumped in her chair, pale, drawn with a deep sadness. Downtrodden, lost and overwhelmingly stuck were words that came to mind. I’d seen that look many times before.
She’d just turned 50 and taken a life stock take, that scared the hell out of her. Marriage limping along, energy 3/10 most days and she’d given up work a few years back because of a shoulder injury that wouldn’t mend and her parents needed constant help to desperately cling onto their independence at home. Her two teen boys were testing boundaries in their quest for freedom as they became young men. She was going from crisis to crisis.
After years of experience, I feel antidepressants may push the reset button if you’re in a crisis, for some people and situations but for others it makes them unable to process their feelings, increases anxiety, crashes their libido and dials up their appetite.
I feel the real answers lie in more than a pill. We’re complex being in our own microcosms. Life is a series of choices and some things we have control over, others we don’t.
Real solutions lie in addressing these microcosms and underlying problems we have control over, which may be low energy, diagnosed thyroid problems, relationships problems, poor boundaries, poor self care, bad diet and lifestyle, low iron or B12…..the list goes on.
Emma was sick of her antidepressant merry-go-round and wanted to see what other options were on offer. She wanted results, something that really worked long term. The emotional pain had become so great she couldn’t stay there any longer. She was on a life decluttering mission.
I identified Emma’s problem areas through thorough case taking, blood and salivary hormone testing, life coaching, reviewing her daily habits and patterns. I crafted a plan unique for Emma and within 2 visits I had a beautiful 50 year old woman with energy, hope, spirit and optimism. She had a plan, momentum, tools, energy and a new perspective on life. Yay
Ever reached a time in your life when the pain was turned to a 9/10 and you asked yourself how did I get here? And at that point realized it was a series of choices you’d chosen over time and doing nothing is a choice as well.
Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to addressing them. I start at the foundations.
Here are 4 antidotes to feeling stuck, overwhelmed and depressed:
1. Energy – energy’s not just in your head it’s in every cell of your body. It drives your biochemistry, brain function, healing and action taking resilience. When you’re exhausted you retreat because you’re vulnerable and sensitive to all things negative.
2. Clarity – Get clear on what your life looks like a year or 2 years from now. Where are you heading? Is it time you stopped reacting to the drama going on around you? It’s so depleting and taking up your precious time. Who knows how many days you have left on this planet. Remember clarity can be found as much by getting off track as by being on track. Feel your way. You can theorise as much as you like in your head, but when the rubber hits the road that sorts things out. You can come full circle, but be in a very different place, mentally and emotionally. Perspectives and stories have changed. Fears have been faced and lost their sting.
3. Self love – What’s going on inside you has a massive impact on what’s happening outside in your life. Is it time to meet yourself from the inside out? Ask yourself, am I lovable? And why? If your answer is no I’m not feeling loved. It’s time to do some inner work. We can only love others equal to how we love ourselves – you can’t give what we don’t have. Faulty foundations lead to wonky structures. So, a hell yes I love myself, because I’m kind, generous, considerate…..…is an good foundation to start with.
4. Manage your state – Get good at self soothing. “Do things that feed your soul and not your ego and you’ll be happy.” We are responsible for how we show up on a moment by moment basis. Do you have tools to manage your emotional state? Here’s some options music, dancing, inspiring podcasts, nature, bike riding, great friends, gardening. When you’re in a bad state you’ll make bad decisions. Make it a priority to get in a great state before you make decisions, especially big ones.
If I had to sum up what I do in a few words, it’s believe in someone, identify the problems, give them tools and provide the space for them to prosper and flourish. I liken it to cleaning up at the beginning rather than doing a patch job at the end.
If you’re having an Emma moment in your life, come see me for a fine tune. Click here to book online.
“We’re all walking each other home.” Ram Daas
Much love Julie XX